a good monologue!

it's really rare that i find a monlogue that i like. i went to Barnes & Noble and read monologue books for a good 2 hours one night and came across this one: (i love it)


WHERE'S MY MONEY?
by: John Patrick Stanley

Comic:
Natalie, an accountant in the 20's to 30's, is having a drink with Celeste, an out-of-work actress, an old friend whom she hasn't seen in a while. While Celeste is something of a dreamy, ditzy romantic, Natalie is no-nonsense, all business.

NATALIE:
All right, I'll lay it out for you. You're a whore. . .
Don't. Please. It's hard enough without you playing surprised.
Don't tell me you haven't thought about the fact that you're a whore.
A STUPID whore. . .
I'll break it down for you. First thing. The count. Let's do the count. You're thirty-one. Next year, you'll be guess what? Twenty-three? No. Thirty-two. And it goes on from there. Older, older, older. A flight of stairs going down, down, down. You're like a quart of milk reaching its expiration date. Have you ever tried to sell a pumpkin the day after Halloween? That's what you are facing. Are you ready? I don't think so. Is it just? Who cares. Pick a fight with God. See where you get. It's the truth of what it is to be a woman. . .
France! Then go to France! Climb the Eiffel Tower. Feed the pigeons. Maybe they'll be glad to see you. Please! You're in America. Do the math. Next. You've gotta face facts. You've got a birth defect. You've got a limp. How many parts are there for limping girls?
Laura in The Glass Menagerie. And that's it! Have there been any produtcions of that play? . . .
And did you get the part? . . .
Then it's time for you to stop office-temping and doing Romeo's girlfriend in acting class and get a bona fide fucking job. It's two plus two. You have to drop the lollipop and pick up the car keys! Next issue. Kenny. This may sound tough, but I'm going to say it anyway.
Kenny's your best bet.


*it goes on from there, but i like to end it there. i can totally picture, randy, dawn, susan, santina & shannon loving this monologue. what do you think?
good times.
:)